TEKKEN LIFE

“ TEKKEN LIFE” is a tribute to the video game “Tekken” and three spiritual teachers. I have utmost respect for the three guys (Buddha, Jiddu and Osho) and , for that matter, you too (excluding the times when you scratch your balls in public). So if anything sounds mean, it isn’t supposed to be so. Logically, I could easily get away making fun of the three than others. Because (their)greatness lies in understanding and forgiving. A God whom one can piss off by saying or doing something, is not worthy being one. Its only us mortals who get all riled up at stuff, the gods smile upon. So read and smile(please…it took me three days to write this stuff) and forgive.

 

TEKKEN LIFE

Mr. Rajneesh “OSHO”     VS    Mr. Jiddu Krisnamurty “K”

Refree : Mr. Buddha

ROUND 1

3

2

1

FIGHT

 

Osho advances towards Jiddu, and is about to throw a sucker punch at him.

Buddha : Don’t fight!

Osho : What???

Buddha : Don’t fight.

Osho : What crap? If you don’t want us to fight then why the hell you became a refree? Who send you?

Buddha : No one send me.

Osho : But then who told you, me and Jiddu were going to fight here?

Buddha : No one told me. I’m enlightened. I know everything.

Osho : How is that possible?

Buddha : You should know that. You said you were enlightened too.

(The claim of being enlightened puts Osho in deep thought. He thought he was enlightened too but this was not the way he felt like. He felt confused, so he turned to Jiddu for reassurance.)

Osho : Jiddu, Are you enlightened? Do you know everything?

Jiddu : Am I enlightened? Do I Know everything? It does not matter whether I’m enlightened or I know everything. What matters is : What you think enlightenment is and whether you really want to know everything and whether you…

Osho : Sorry Jiddu, but have you always been like this.

Jiddu : Like what?

Osho : Vague like this.

Jiddu : You don’t want me to be vague? You want someone to provide you the answers? Will someone elses answers find you, your own truth? Is it possible? You think so?

Osho : Jiddu I’m still as confused as few lines before.

Jiddu : If you really want to know the answers to your questions, we can observe the problem together, as it is, without judging it being good or bad and try to go to the root of it.

Osho : Jiddu, if you are forgetting we did not come here to go to the root of a problem together but to FIGHT TOGETHER. Buddha, what are we supposed to do now?

Buddha : Meditation?

Jiddu : Yes. That’s a good idea.

Osho : I’m asking about the Fight. What are we supposed to do about the fight?

Buddha : Why you so insist on Fighting?

Osho : Insist on fighting. What is this life but an endless fight. Fight for your rights, fight with your boss, fight with your colleagues, fight with your juniors, fight for your wife, fight with your wife, fight for every-effing-thing. Everybody is send here to fight. That’s karma. To fight. Don’t you guys know about Krishna and his thoughts.

Buddha : Yes I read that on Facebook “Krishna’s thoughts”. It was a nice article.

Osho : What Krishna’s thoughts you are talking about?

Jiddu : You haven’t read the article “Krishna’s thoughts”. That’s why you so insist on fighting.  It’s by Piyush Saklani. I think he is a Tibetan monk, he looks like one.

Buddha : No he is not a Tibetan monk, he is just a Tibetan looking confused Indian soul. Poor him, a waste of talent like all others : still chasing tails.

Osho : What have we gotten ourselves into. We came here for something positive. Something creative. We came here to fight. What about the fight?

Buddha : Why you so insist on fighting?

Osho : Buddha, you see with pains I managed to get Jiddu to fight me. He agreed that if this fight meant so much to me, then he would come fight and loose.

Buddha : But why does this fight mean so much to you?

Osho : Because we are born to fight. Born to prove we are the best. Born to win and all that stuff.

Buddha : You know, all that doesn’t matter.

Osho : You mean to tell me  that when one has 99 Rolls Royce in one’s collection(all gifted, mind you) and one wants a 100^th one, just for century’s sake. You mean to tell him..its all in vain..and all of that doesn’t matter. You know how much popular you have to be to be able to pull that off?

Buddha : More than 9.13 on a scale of 1 to 10 for popularity in the Milky way galaxy.

Osho : You see. And I achieved that. Jiddu, were you able to score more than 9.13.

Jiddu : It doesn’t matter whether I scored more than that. What matters is did you really wanted to score more than 9.13?

Osho : Jiddu sometimes I wonder did you ever get laid. It is fun imagining a girl asking you the favour. And you going “Do you really want it, will it make you happy, will it answer the eternal question?” Yes the hell it answers the eternal question.

Buddha : And how is that?

Osho : See me!!! I got material, immaterial, physical, non-physical, spiritual every pleasure imaginable. To top all that, and for the helI of it I even went to jail once. You see I am the original “ Been there, Done that” “ “Dude”. Can you beat that?

Jiddu : But how all of that makes you feel now?

Osho : GRRRREEAAT!!!

Jiddu : That’s good if you really feel so.

Osho : Umm…to tell you the truth…not always..specially when I’m alone…sometimes I feel awful…only sometimes though.

Jiddu : You want to do something about it?

Osho : Like what? Tranquilizers?

Buddha : No. Meditation.

Jiddu : Yes. Meditation.

Osho : Will that help?

Jiddu/Buddha : It helped us.

Osho : Okay! Let’s do it! But Jiddu, don’t forget the fight “Thereafter”. LOL, just kidding. How do I sit to meditate, enlighten me you guys.(And winks)

Everybody smiles and starts meditating.

THE END